英語搞笑短劇 5分鐘左右 急求

這是我寫的兩人小劇.是反應基本的衛生習慣的問題.不知你是否喜歡?
人物: Alex 和 Bob
地點:學生宿舍
Flushing the Toilet沖廁所
A: Oh my god, what a stinky smell! Who didn't flush the toilet?
天啊,這么臭氣熏天啊? 誰沒沖廁所呀?
B: (reading a book silently)(靜靜地看書)
A: Bob, is that you again?
Bob, 又是你干的好事?
B: what? what about me?
什么? 我又怎么了?
A: You didn't flush the toilet.
你用了廁所沒沖!
B: I did.
我沖了.
A: No. you didn't. The stinky smell is unbearable.
你沒有! 這臭氣熏天,簡直無法忍受.
How could you sit here quietly and read your book as if nothing had happened?
你怎么還可以在這靜靜地看書,好象啥事都沒有.?
B: I didn't smell anything.
我沒覺得臭呀.
A: I am sure it's you. How could you not smell anything. Go flush the toilet now!
那一定是你干的. 怎么可能什么都聞不到? 快去沖廁所!
B: I remember I did flush it. (He went to the bathroom to flush the toilet.)
我記得我是沖了.(他走進廁所,沖洗馬桶)
A: Don't you ever do that again. That's barbarian.
我警告你以后別再這樣啊. 那是非常不文明的行為.
B: well, I'll try to remember. ( Bob is eating some cookies now.)
嗯,我盡量記住. ( Bob 拿起些餅干在吃)
A: Did you wash your hands after you flush the toilet?
你沖完廁所有沒有洗手呀?
B: Do I have to?
要洗手嗎?
A: Oh my god! I think I need to change the room right now..
天啊! 我還是換間寢室好了.
The end 劇終

給我一個搞笑的英文短劇！有翻譯的！大約10分鐘！

The first act [b] [/ b] valentine's day,Cow: hey, look, what doesn't really painful radio to read books? All trouble
Penny: hi's sister is not every year in hard today? No wonder that you don't get excited, I also was unbalanced
Cow: what! O I everyday
Penny: calculate excuses for not all like valentine's day holiday you sad hi have a boyfriend calculate however like me who receives the beauty should also hi star-crossed
Cow: come on, you can still do you sick star-crossed I see is long
Penny: no! Anyway all the same if nobody accompanies a boyfriend just hey I request is not high as a little better than Andy lau: just so little that I deserve it? You said static
O: what made me still finish this problem
Penny: cattle, o you dizzy
Wife: you listen to my brother etc that I really didn't mean it
Belle: smelly boy dare to play me I was professor
Wife: I really think I could write who download the blind is that what you break the professor published
Belle: yeah! Who would have thought of you who will have the opportunity to see whether the sun waiting for tomorrow together with the Iraqi people pray tomorrow
Wife: boss I was wrong, I didn't dare to the next ANiu will help me the medicine
Belle: next time you want to have the next
RMB: oh what fell fast cast out, I have never lost a lot for the loser is how you are here hey
Penny: what? You so as to self-study
RMB: there is handsome but today I but riches! Wish everyday is a valentine's day so I can have confidence in more than 20 years, Bill Gates has to take
Penny: oh, I won't give you any boy tried to chase my this young lady is not so good bait
RMB: a dollar
Penny: what a dollar
RMB: come on you when I was a philanthropist the roses are sold me the last remaining in a classmate's sake will charge you a cost one dollar hurry
Penny: you go to your roses
Don't throw the gibbet stem ah, I broke or otherwise, I want you to compensate
ANiu: RMB you too! Not a rose
Penny: not just a rose
ANiu: gave penny let her in valentine's day has rose up
Penny: who wants to you
This is not ANiu RMB: yi? You how can here
ANiu: oh how can't I
RMB: of course not! You can be a cucumber brother today isn't what's on
ANiu: I today and cucumber
Today, but you of the valentine's day holiday
ANiu: who said I and he is
The truth: gee hasn't admit in the eyes
ANiu: I really
RMB to sell the roses cucumber still perhaps can earn two three
ANiu: I and how could he that that
RMB exchange rate: hello: now how much 8.31
The ANiu: why would think so don't understand
Penny: this also no wonder who called you all two pairs idiot would think so
ANiu: paired idiotic to cut it
Penny: look at that cucumber cucumber
Cucumber: oh really exhausted me
Penny: cucumber you big box of small box
Cucumber: I don't want to, but I am born the life that I have what way
How ANiu: who is your chocolate
What is all hide cucumber: but my sister
Penny: why are you carrying on which of the elder sister
ANiu: maybe the supermarket's aunt
Cucumber: what do you see this cut like a girl to send
Penny: otherwise is a boy
Cucumber: play to didn't mean it with me this handsome and natural and unrestrained graceful bearing the handsome prince generous woman sending this day someone's things don't cry to shout a somebody else give I see no way to die, I just don't understand those little girls
Penny: there you are... Made today
Cucumber: tell me about it, not even box of chocolate is still depends on what is the lowest price is $decades as the three digits of chocolate I see one took it into the dustbin today, don't know how many girls cry. What is it this way: hi times son have corp.this face
ANiu: ah! The cucumber in uh-oh, I know the way is to carry these are just some of the face is enough for you to call me or a girl
Cucumber: you see this truth call me on my mobile phone, you still play embarrassedly and shy girl
ANiu: that you think why she didn't play your mobile phone
Cucumber: hi somebody else a little girl is always a bit shy? This is not understand my mobile phone? Gee I phone
ANiu: just the shy girl say you are shy of chocolate in the supermarket buy when the phone down on the counter
Cucumber: oh shit
Penny, ANiu: cut hypocrisy
Wang: cucumber how tomorrow also don't now ready to PE! Run so fast to learn to fly? Tomahawk missiles
ANiu: he also wish to fly? How come you miss wang
Wang: oh, this is your next week I filled out the form now go to France, but it's not easy, I spent great effort to get here。給我分

英語搞笑短劇， 4人，10分鐘左右。急！好了多加分

Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出鏡子梳頭，做自戀狀）：
Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (畫外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高興狀) Thank u mirror! （面對觀眾）
I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三(畢恭畢敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~
（作殺狀）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世紀最需要的是什么，人才！這句話要跟觀眾交流，最好由觀眾來回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做贊許狀） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中劉德華&金成武決斗時的音樂）荊軻Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荊軻OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?
荊軻Off course! 聳聳肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音樂起兩人沖上前來“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，兩刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荊軻大笑李莫愁痛苦狀：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荊軻: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （贏一個人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right.
荊軻再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荊柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荊柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?
（鄙人找不到后半部分，特來求救） 提問者： 冰魄の影魂 - 初級魔法師 三級 答復 共 3 條 荊柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹暈倒荊柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（畢恭畢敬）May I have your name card, please? 荊軻從兜里掏出一卷紙，上面寫著： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荊柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荊柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荊柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上場的美女，激動狀): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荊柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荊柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 觀眾甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荊柯（激動）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？難道你真的想要嗎…… （《No matter》音樂起，荊軻先與阿三跳探戈，擁入懷中，又甩出去，阿三做嘔吐狀。然后荊軻與太子丹跳倫巴，最后太子丹擺一個女性化的造型，向后彎腰并抬其中一條腿，荊軻做調戲狀。）荊柯(誠懇狀) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹與阿三（撞胯，擊掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大話西游》主題曲響起）荊珂挽著妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荊珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停頓。《泰坦尼克號》主題曲起，荊軻與妻子做Jack和rose在船頭的經典造型，忽然荊軻看到一個美女——此時一個中國古典美女經過，向荊軻拋媚眼，并拋下定情手絹。荊軻高興的盯著美女看，妻子發覺不對，扭過頭來。）荊珂（急忙收斂）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救贖》）荊珂(流淚) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都會愛著你，選自《飄》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荊珂（欲走還留，執子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克號沉船時，Jack對Rose的傾訴）. 妻子:"I promise." 荊軻:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荊軻的發音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克號》的臺詞。）妻子努力擠出幾滴眼淚，荊珂上船，漸漸遠去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手機撥號，阿三接手機)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng.
參考資料網站有更多選擇。

英語短劇,兩分鐘左右的,搞笑一點,然后5個人

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車,但是沒有人給他讓路.
"喂,讓我上車!"那位男士喊道.
"車太擠了,你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對他說.
"但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機!"那位男士說道.

我是大一學生，老師讓我們組表演‘英語幽默短劇’10分鐘左右，有10或11個角色的幽默短劇

這個我們上學期用過，很好用的~~
暴笑+老師好評~~~
Performance @ College : Story of Johnny and Lunch (孔雀東南飛現代搞笑版)
Characters:
Prologue
(J作被打狀跑上臺，內砸出一個紙筒，J被打中，狼狽不堪)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger. (Whisper)While my wife is Wu Song. (拍門大叫)I'm not afraid of you! （內砸出一臉盆，J接著當成盾牌護著）Then,I'm afraid of whom? My wife lunch is the most famous woman in neighbourhood. She's braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me.All of this I do not care. I just want her to be tender than me. But she isn't! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
Act One
(序幕結束時，JM作竊聽狀)
JM:(拄著拐棍上)I can! (對門內)Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L：（揸住鍋鏟，扎著圍裙，從門內跳出來）I'm here!I'm cutting chicken. What's up mum?
JM: I've told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law".
L: Ok. My most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what's up?
JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly, been so rude, so brusque, so lazy...
L: But...
JM:Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all day, cooking and washing. I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chickens and...
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L:(生氣揮動鍋鏟)Oh, you want a grandson, don't you?(開始脫圍裙) Go and ask your son. I'm leaving!(扔下圍裙，扔到JM臉上，下臺)
Act Two
(LM坐在臺上打毛線，L拿著鍋鏟上臺)
L: Mum, I'm back.
LM: You're back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful, graceful and dearest mother-in-law.
LM(驚訝，但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly, stupid and poor. But you didn't listen to me. Look at yourself now!
L: But, mum...
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I'm not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right, OK? And I'll marry whomever you want me to.
LM: (大喜)Nice girl! Just now, I met the Mayor's Son in the market. He said,"If your daughter haven't been married, I really really want to marry her!" Now that you're free again, I'll go and tell him (下臺).
L: (驚愣)What? The Mayor's Son? The most famous play boy in neightbourhood? (手中鍋鏟掉地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下臺)
Act Three
(J 睡眼惺忪上臺)
J: (邊走邊道)Lunch! Lunch! Where are my socks? (走幾步，在地上撿起襪子) Here they are! (聞一下) ER...How smelly! They're still dirty! (突然想起) Lunch has gone! I have to wash them myself! （肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來）Oh, I'm so hungry, but there is no breakfast! (撿起地上的圍裙) This is Lunch's apron(圍裙)! I miss her...EXCELLENT cooking skill so much! Now that she has gone, I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM:(上臺) Where's my breakfast? Where is Lunch? Hasn't she got up yet?
J：Mum, can't you remember? Lunch has gone!
JM: (沉吟片刻) Well, to tell you the truth, Johnny, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl. Go and take her back.
J: (立正敬禮)YES, MADAM!
ACT FORE
(J 開心地走著，忽然跳出三強盜)
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to me. The road is built by me!(一腳踩在一石頭上)
B: And I planted one tree!(踩同一石頭)
C: If you want to go by this street...(欲踩石頭，但踩到A的腳)
B：Give us...
A: All
C: your money!
J: （搜遍每一口袋，掏出一1角硬幣）Is 1 mao enough?
(ABC暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A: What a bad luck! This guy is broken!
B: If we can't rob any money today, we'll have nothing to eat tonight.
C: I heard that the Mayor's Son is going to marry Miss Lunch next month, we can go and rob the wedding!
AB: Good idea!
J:(驚訝)What? What? Lunch is going to get married? Impossible!
A:Why?
B: A pretty girl and a rich man.
C: What a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife, we haven't got divorced yet.(突然有主意) I've got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, aren't you? I'll go with you. you take the money, and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No, but I've got this!(J 脫下鞋子，從里面抹出一張支票，上書：$1,000,000,ABC見狀跟著J下臺，目光跟著錢)
Act Five
(轉眼已到婚禮之期，MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上臺，L蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿的被拉上臺)
（J A B C 躍至臺中）
A: Hey you!
BCJ: Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me.
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street...
J: Give us all your money!
(L 聽到J 的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L: （驚喜萬分）Johnny! (不顧一切地飛奔到J 的身后)
（MS大怒，揮拳向J 打來，J 矮身一躲，MS 打中J 身后的L , L暈倒）
J: (火冒三丈) How dare you beat my wife! (揮拳打向MS)
(J與 MS混戰，JM悄悄上在MS后)
J: (指著MS后向MS講)Hey, Pretty girl!
(MS向后一望，JM用拐杖將其打倒)
（J 將MS胸前的新郎標志撤下來，戴在自己的胸前）
J: (扶起L,關切地問)Honey, How are you?
L:(Crying...) Thurtalot!
J: Don't cry baby, I'll fetch some medicine for you (下臺)
L:(起身去追)Wait for me!(跑下臺)
（音樂起：羅密歐與祝英臺）
END...